my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
