Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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