Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
