4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Terrible idea I love it
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize