Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Randomize
