We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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