Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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