We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
