Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
