i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I am puke
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
