she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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