Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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