The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Randomize
