Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
