I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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