Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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