ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
