Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
