My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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