We won't sleep together?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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