So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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