Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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