the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
