I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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