When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
