I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.