didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
