girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend