So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
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