I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
I told him it was alright.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I just sucked dick on a ferry