wanna go halves on a baby?
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
