some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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