there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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