so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
