I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
