We're like a lot better than the average bears
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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