When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
