sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Your penis caused this!
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
