so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
