Barsexuality is the new black.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
