I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
