Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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