Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
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