I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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