Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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