and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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