belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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