you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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