So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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