I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
