Just cropdusted the office
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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