on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
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