And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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