I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
