I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
