ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Randomize
