After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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