I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
