I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
i believe in u and ur pee
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
