I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
