i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
My breasts were aching with rage.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
