he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
