I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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