the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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