i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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