Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize