I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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