I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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