Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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