rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
